The Rivals by Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Diorama Arts Centre, November 2001
Directed by Ian Bernard

I usually like to begin a review with the bare bones of the plot. Richard Brinsley Sheridan clearly saw people like me coming when he wrote The Rivals. My Lord it’s a complicated business. It essentially boils down to this: She loves him and he loves her. Sadly he is not who he purports to be, and thus must carry himself off; both literally and figuratively. What ensues is a seemingly doomed relationship. Whilst this is going on there are other characters to consider. She loves him but he doesn’t believe it and has to test her. Meanwhile, she, under an assumed name has fallen in love with him. He, however, thinks she is in fact another. And not even the one she was pretending to be. These figures aside, we must not forget that he loves the same lady that our original protagonist does. Sadly he is his best friend, and unknowingly challenges him to a duel. Of course he is his second as well as his opponent. How unfortunate. Then, there wait in the wings those others who are going to make as much money from this debacle as possible. Are we clear?

I though it would necessary to sort this out for a reason: The Rivals could be a very long, complicated and frustrating. So first in line for congratulations is director Ian Bernard who not only did a fantastic job of casting, but also of editing the play. It was a dynamic performance, which never lacked in pace or in Sheridan’s wit. Ian and his cast were aided no end by the costume and design involved in as lavish a production as you will see in amateur theatre.

I like to call a spade a spade when it comes to reviews. In the past KDC has asked me to be nicer and certain directors don’t talk to me anymore. Actors have emailed me to justify their performances. But why sugar coat when there is something is rotten in the state of Denmark? This is my personal disclaimer as this was a fantastic performance and the following words might appear sycophantic. They are not – there is method in my madness. As a friend once said: ‘To my mind, if it were done, when it is done, then it were well if it were done right’. Quite so.

The cast carried this performance off with wit and charm. I did wander about some of the accents on display on occasion. Tony Matthews’ Fag had one of the more surreal voices I have heard. However it made me chuckle, and that’s the point I suppose. Sally Figge had a similar accent, and she is from Europe. She is also rather attractive, which will ease the resolution of the hardest reviewer. The odd line amongst many an odd line was missed and in their excitement some cues were off. However this was noticeable only because of its infrequency.

Wayne McMullen as Faulkland gave an energetic and worryingly paranoid performance. It was easy to see the “infirmity of his temper”. Tara Blackman reacted wonderfully as Julia, the woman who should really consider a court order against Faulkland. “I have given no cause for this” laments Julia: for his insults maybe, for my commendation, certainly not.

Brian Harris as Sir Anthony Absolute was faced with a barrage of laughter and applause. Great delivery and reaction was only bettered by the glorious political incorrectness of the character. What a man to aspire to: so let’s go to war and women belong in the kitchen. What made his presence even more impressive was the performance given by Sarah Bach as Mrs Malaprop. The “weather-beaten She-Dragon” was meddlesome and truly ‘to the manner borne’ without there being a Bucket in sight. Hilarious.

I don’t mean to underrate any performances, but the superlatives are getting a bit ridiculous – despite being most deserved. So let me briefly praise Michael Salmon for his sincerity and wisdom as David, Anna Beeton’s ‘well done simplicity’ as Lucy and Bill Hutchens Sir Lucius O’Trigger’s strong presence, despite the character clearly being the model for Sir Percy in Ben Elton’s Blackadder.

Time must be set-aside for Tasmin Clark’s Lydia Languish. Here is a young actress of real potential. She was petulant, she was spoiled and she had attitude. Lydia comments: “Our memories are independent of our wills – ‘tis not so easy to forget”. Don’t forget Tamsin, she is destined for high places. Remember who said that in any speeches you make, won’t you Tamsin?

Jack Smith’s Captain Absolute not only has the best name in a character since Wee Jock Poo Pong McPlop (who cleans the public toilets in Aberdeen for those not in the know), he had the voice and demeanour that personified the words ‘cad and bounder’. His delivery and reaction were well timed, passionate, and where necessary, had just the right comic timing. With a wig to make Billy Ray Cyrus jealous, Jack couldn’t lose.

Finally to my Man of the Match: Philip Elvy, who gave an inspired performance as Acres. He was hilarious; he was touching; he looked like an “ill-used” Restoration Mick Hucknall. There’s no greater praise.

So there we have it. From appearances I have been paid vast sums of money to trumpet the praise of The Rivals. Take it from me, the committee are far too tight for that. This was funny, engaging and very well acted. Above all, it made perfect sense.

Michael Millar